Tuesday, September 16, 2014

how to be happy independently?

the best feeling comes when you realize you are perfectly happy without the people you thought you needed most.

Almost everyone is blessed with lovely good people around them, like family and friends. Somehow there is always inadequacy in our heart that makes us look for another person to be loved. It’s a lover of course.

Hey, I just met you and this is crazy. Why is it crazy? Normally, when you fell in love, it blinded all your senses and the priorities are now resorted. It’s not always bad when everything is heightened. At some point, you can be extremely happy, and at some point you feel like killing everyone. Even your friends or family can’t give you such experience.

When love comes in your life, it hit you hard, and when it leaves you, it breaks you hard as well. But I’m not here to talk about how to survive a breakup (well, you can take it that way as well), I’m more on how to live your life to the fullest independently, because in a relationship, there’s not always ‘us’. We also need some ‘me’ time. Both sides have family, friends and a career to build. So, this is more on taking care of your own body mind and soul.

So, how to be happy independently?

1. Family and friends

You have to appreciate every moment with your family. They can be annoying but it’s not all bad. With family, you can have a conversation about how cat is better than dog for hours like it’s everyone's business. Celebrate the small pointless things because the time together is what matter. I admit, I sometimes demand for too much ‘me’ time that I forgot to meet my family. It is as simple as just chill in the living room. It’s okay if there’s no talk, but just be in their sight because it’s complementing.

Your life wouldn't be colorful without a friend. Have some fun; go hangout at a fancy restaurant, have a sleepover, go out for movies, have a meaningful talk, have a senseless shitty talk, or whatever the crap that you want. It’s vital not to only do the fun part, but also the rough path. Then your friendship will be more meaningful.

2. Hobby

It’s important to have a hobby. A hobby can broaden your mind and develop your personality. Who says hobby is only readings and sports? There are thousands of interests out there to be discovered. For instance, I learn to play guitar just because I feel stupid singing without an instrument. I am far from perfect, but this is just for fun. I pick a few basic chords that can make me play almost any song. So here's my attempt in making a cover. LOL


I just love Youtube. It’s more than music videos and movie trailer. Try tutorials, or a talk show. My favorite channel is Poptrigger.

It’s hosted by Samantha along with Brie and Bret, and there will be another guest who’s related to the rising issue. They talk about everything; the entertainment, life and advice, community and awareness, and even Justin Bieber. It’s a perfect show for my breakfast. 

Here are some of my favorite channels with 3 words explanation.

ShaneDawsonTV: fucked up, Wrong, Hilarious

brittani louise taylor: quirky, girlfriend, inspiring

Caspar (Lee): Niall, TylerOakley, Troye

Charlieissocoollike: British, shortfilm, nerd

Danny Jennings: gay, makeup, personal

When I watch these channels, it is not just for fun. I’m exposing my mind to their culture and improve my English at the same time. What do I learn from the Yotubers is they do a lot of collaboration to support each other. Not only they get to increase their viewers, we as the viewers also get to have variation from the clashes.

3. Career

If you have a career, either a job or academic, focus on it. It’s fulfilling to have a stable career. A successful career can improve your quality of life. A career can give you better education, a stable financial status, and get to plan on asset acquiring. It can be stressing but it’s rewarding. Building career is a never ending process but it worth the pain. It’s your future.  So, it’s stupid when you choose an unpromising relationship over profession.

4. Keep in touch
It’s important to keep your partner posted. Let them know what is happening in your life. Share with them about your visit to this art exhibit, or your family vacation. As much as you enjoy living your life, do not left him/her out. Since we are talking about distance here, show them that the relationship is moving to the right direction by making future plan. It can be as simple as when and how your next date should be like. No pressure. Make is as chill as possible. No promise. 

5. Trust

Simply put your trust in your partner. You may not know if the other side is cheating on you. It may break your heart if it happen, but let’s not make it your problem. It’s not you who broke the integrity. This is about you, having the good quality to be an independent good person. Be the one to initiate the good thing, then good things will comes to follow. It’s not about who is right and who is wrong; it’s about doing the right thing for you.

6. Smile
Do smile! You can smile for no reason. It does help. Scientifically, endorphins released from smiling can elevate your mood. Not only it good for your emotion, a genuine smile can also boosts your immune system by decreasing cortisol in your body. What is cortisol? It’s a steroid hormone, and you know what does a steroid do.

If you feel stupid, just find a reason to smile. Surround yourself with positive energy like positive people, positive culture, humor, trivia, fun facts, or you can try 9gag.

There goes! This is how I cheer myself up. I have to admit that I’m not perfect. I may have a breakdown from time to time. Shit happens. But you bounce back. That is life.

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