Monday, January 30, 2017

damn aizat

There is a time when I am sure it's like the universe is against you. Everything seems wrong and you feel like killing everyone because they are not in your favor. You feel like they should have been on your side and they are not, so fuck them, But it's fucked because they could be your friends, your family, or even strangers. You feel like blaming everyone for making you feel shitty.

Somehow you know that it's not their fault because the problem is you. Well, at least in my case, I know that I am the problem, so most of the time, when this kind shit happen, I tend to distance myself from everyone to avoid issues. Let people that I'm okay just so we are cool, because I prefer to retain the peace and not letting petty things like my personal conflicts and emotion to ruin the relationships.

But still, you wish you could scream in everyone's face, fuck you for making my life miserable, I wish karma will make you miserable and fuck me for being a pussy crybaby.

I know it's my fault for not being able to hold my shit together. But still as much as I believe I am in charge of my own decision and happiness, we are living in a community where one things affect another. I wish people are aware that even the smallest things that they do could affect others, even though you think your jokes, or you being arrogant or ignorant is nothing major, but different people have different sensitivity. Of course, you  are not at responsible for making everyone in the room happy, but I wish people know how powerful the chain effects could ripple.

At the end of the day, fuck everyone not because they are asses, but it's because you are more matter. If it's not you who would bring yourself up again, who would? Of course there is, but I believe in Murphy's Law. 'Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong'. So retain the power that you already have over your own destiny to outsmart the law. Always have be prepared that something could go wrong, and when you are prepared, when things go south, it would be less shitty when you are prepared.

Just be prepared for the better, and for the worst.

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